12 Step Programs for Teens
If your teen is involved with drugs or alcohol, you can feel very frustrated and that your words are going in one ear and out the other. Will your child benefit from attending narcotics anonymous or alcohol anonymous meetings? What is the best way to help your teen who may be going down a destructive path?
First of all, if you have ever watched the A&E program called “Intervention”, you can model what the families of drug addicts and alcoholics do. First, call an agency that deals with 12 step programs or a crisis line and talk over your plan. Then, sketch out ways in which you, as a parent, can stop enabling the behaviour of your alcohol or drug abusing child.
What are you doing that may be enabling them? This could mean that you might stop giving them money, providing rides to their connection or even feeding them when they show up at your door. If your teen is over 19 and living at home without working, you may want to have them do volunteer work temporarily till they can find work or ask them to find other accommodation. Some parents subconsciously allow the destructive behaviour to continue out of kindness, when that kindness may be killing them.
Tell them that you love them, that you always will love them but you don’t love what they’re doing. After you describe the behaviours you will no longer accept, describe what you will accept, which may include a 12 step program for alcohol or drug addiction. Some kids will be open to psychotherapy and it helps to them that therapy focuses on lots of areas and gets at the root of the anxiety. They can speak about their relationship with friends, family, goals , sense of discouragement etc.
A lot of people like the teen programs at na or aa because it becomes a support group. You hear other people’s situations, get a sponsor and usually connect with one or two people in the group. Some of the narcotics anonymous and other support groups have camping trips and activities that people find are a great break from daily pressures. It’s nice to get away from the high school scene for a while where everyone knows you and you see the same people daily. Quitting marijuana can be hard in that context and a support group that knows it is very helpful. Some say that juvenile drug abuse and drug addiction statistics is increasing because many people’s families have to cut back on spending due to the recession and unemployment. There is a lot of pressure in the homes and tensions.
One thing that can be a turn off to people with a 12 step approach to addiction may be the religious element. Many groups now will also speak about spirituality generally and this is something most people have no trouble with. Most of the facilitators are able to use language that speaks to a lot of people from different backgrounds. If there is a history of alcoholism problems with close relatives, then an alateen meeting may be useful. It is a way where people can discuss how someone’s drinking effects them. It’s also a way teens can learn more about drinking patterns, side effects and patterns that underly the problem.
My daughter drank when she was 16 after a boyfriend started going out with her best friend. She was turning to alcohol due to low self-esteem. AA meetings helped her and she got a lot of support from her sponsor. It was good for her to not just see kids from high school but have a whole different support system for temptations to drink alcohol on weekends.
My friend drinks and needs to go to aa meetings but won’t. I think she drinks alcohol between classes because her parents pressure her to get very high grades. Her brother really was an excellent student and this makes her feel she needs to perform all the time.
My friend who got into drugs like crack and uppers when he was 15 said that it his parents were drinking on weekends and using pain killer meds so it ran in the family. Teenagers see more than we think.