Comments on: Alcoholic Behaviors:How to Identify Alcohol Addiction Patterns http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/ Drug Treatment and Alcohol Problem Solutions Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:17:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Lori http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-149069 Lori Wed, 23 Nov 2011 01:27:19 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-149069 Where is the line between a social drinker and an alcoholic? I can party with the best of them and then go days and not drink and not want to drink. On the other hand, I don't mind drinking throughout the day on Saturday and Sunday with my boyfriend...Is it possible to be a heavy drinker and not be an alcoholic...?? Where is the line between a social drinker and an alcoholic? I can party with the best of them and then go days and not drink and not want to drink. On the other hand, I don’t mind drinking throughout the day on Saturday and Sunday with my boyfriend…Is it possible to be a heavy drinker and not be an alcoholic…??

]]> By: Cindy http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-135155 Cindy Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:37:45 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-135155 I've had problems trying to get my brother to realize that he has a drinking problem. He's been staying with me for 9 long, long miserable months because he broke up with this fiancee, and I'm sure alcohol played a major role. He drank so many beers that last couple months, I told him that he had a problem, which he denies. I gave him until November to be out of my house. He's finally working and I'm fearing that he will only buy more alchohol. Several months ago, I found him in his room on the floor having a seizure and the doctor confirmed what I thought, alcohol withdrawal. Since then, I banned him from drinking in my home, and he's so stupid that he sneakes it in sometimes and we have arguments over it. The last argument we had, I just stopped going back and forth with him. I was called every b*** in the book, and blamed for everything he could possible think. Yet, he still thinks he's sneaking alcohol in. He says he found a place to stay and I pray to God that it's real soon. I feel like busting him upside his head. And I hate myself for even trying to help him. My father was an alcoholic and may mother total enabled him and I feel that when she died, she left me to handle the problems she created with him, allowing him to drink, not making him responsible for one single thing in life...not going to school, disrespectful behavoir, and the list goes on. I had to strength of mind to not say any more to him during our last argument when I was called every B**** except a good one, because I know that I would lose my temper, him, stab or shoot him. I’ve had problems trying to get my brother to realize that he has a drinking problem. He’s been staying with me for 9 long, long miserable months because he broke up with this fiancee, and I’m sure alcohol played a major role. He drank so many beers that last couple months, I told him that he had a problem, which he denies. I gave him until November to be out of my house. He’s finally working and I’m fearing that he will only buy more alchohol. Several months ago, I found him in his room on the floor having a seizure and the doctor confirmed what I thought, alcohol withdrawal. Since then, I banned him from drinking in my home, and he’s so stupid that he sneakes it in sometimes and we have arguments over it. The last argument we had, I just stopped going back and forth with him. I was called every b*** in the book, and blamed for everything he could possible think. Yet, he still thinks he’s sneaking alcohol in. He says he found a place to stay and I pray to God that it’s real soon. I feel like busting him upside his head. And I hate myself for even trying to help him. My father was an alcoholic and may mother total enabled him and I feel that when she died, she left me to handle the problems she created with him, allowing him to drink, not making him responsible for one single thing in life…not going to school, disrespectful behavoir, and the list goes on. I had to strength of mind to not say any more to him during our last argument when I was called every B**** except a good one, because I know that I would lose my temper, him, stab or shoot him.

]]> By: Maggie http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-111924 Maggie Wed, 14 Sep 2011 00:51:42 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-111924 Victoria, deja vu. I'm going through a heart wrenching break-up that mirrors yours. Thank you for posting. Victoria, deja vu. I’m going through a heart wrenching break-up that mirrors yours. Thank you for posting.

]]> By: victoria http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-108710 victoria Thu, 08 Sep 2011 02:04:15 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-108710 Thank you all for your posts. It is so hard to recognize an alcoholic when the person functions and goes to work. I dated an respectable attorney for six months. We got along great and constantly told me how much he liked me! He even made comments that we never had one bad date! Out of 3 attempts to have sex, he was not able to perform sexually once. The very last time he had six drinks of scotch and he passed out by midnight. He apologized the next morning but denied he was drunk. He couldn't perform that morning even though he attempted two times. After that, he just disappeared. I blamed myself and tried to figure out what happened. Then I started to analyze things. I began to see that he used to have a drink in the car with us before we would go out. Sometimes we stopped by his office to get a drink. Then I noticed that he always had 4 drinks every time we went out. These drinks were not beers but hard liquor like scotch. Then I noticed that we would always eat a little dinner and bar hop. He used to disappear sometimes and tell me that he had to go out of town for work. He was too knowledgeable when it came to alcohol. The person I think I care about really doesn't exist. I am just dating someone who is "buzzed" all the time. I thank everyone here because you have helped me see the deception involved. What resonated with me is when some of you have said that it is a lonely road. You are so right. Thank you all for your posts. It is so hard to recognize an alcoholic when the person functions and goes to work. I dated an respectable attorney for six months. We got along great and constantly told me how much he liked me! He even made comments that we never had one bad date!
Out of 3 attempts to have sex, he was not able to perform sexually once. The very last time he had six drinks of scotch and he passed out by midnight. He apologized the next morning but denied he was drunk. He couldn’t perform that morning even though he attempted two times. After that, he just disappeared. I blamed myself and tried to figure out what happened. Then I started to analyze things. I began to see that he used to have a drink in the car with us before we would go out. Sometimes we stopped by his office to get a drink. Then I noticed that he always had 4 drinks every time we went out. These drinks were not beers but hard liquor like scotch. Then I noticed that we would always eat a little dinner and bar hop. He used to disappear sometimes and tell me that he had to go out of town for work. He was too knowledgeable when it came to alcohol. The person I think I care about really doesn’t exist. I am just dating someone who is “buzzed” all the time.
I thank everyone here because you have helped me see the deception involved. What resonated with me is when some of you have said that it is a lonely road. You are so right.

]]> By: Rose http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-93624 Rose Mon, 08 Aug 2011 00:09:08 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-93624 Isnt this an amazing site. At this present moment my alcoholic loved one(daughter) is taking us to an unfair dissmissal claim as we had to sack her and her girlfriend from the business we run her behaviour became more and more erratic even though her intentions for helping us in the business were good. Her girlfrien is a very big drinker and our daughter started to drink from the age of 14yrs.This site has made me realise once again that no matter how much you love these people that are in your lives you cannnot change them. We have been going to a twelve step program for 2yrs now and if it was not for this fellowship we would have become insane or dead. For the disease of alcoholism is a deadly one. Not only for them but for you too. We have to survive whether they do or not. Isnt this an amazing site. At this present moment my alcoholic loved one(daughter) is taking us to an unfair dissmissal claim as we had to sack her and her girlfriend from the business we run her behaviour became more and more erratic even though her intentions for helping us in the business were good. Her girlfrien is a very big drinker and our daughter started to drink from the age of 14yrs.This site has made me realise once again that no matter how much you love these people that are in your lives you cannnot change them. We have been going to a twelve step program for 2yrs now and if it was not for this fellowship we would have become insane or dead. For the disease of alcoholism is a deadly one. Not only for them but for you too. We have to survive whether they do or not.

]]> By: Honda26 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-76388 Honda26 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 14:40:57 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-76388 My husband and I have been togather for 21 years. He has always drank, but 11 years ago his father died and he has just gotten worse and now smoke pot also. His recent thing is he has started talking to his high school girlfriend. I recently kicked him out of our house. I am worried about him he is suffering from depression, the alcohol (about 8 beers and pint of schnapps a night) and now pot. I hate to give up on my marriage, but I don't know if I can forgive all the things he has done. My husband and I have been togather for 21 years. He has always drank, but 11 years ago his father died and he has just gotten worse and now smoke pot also. His recent thing is he has started talking to his high school girlfriend. I recently kicked him out of our house. I am worried about him he is suffering from depression, the alcohol (about 8 beers and pint of schnapps a night) and now pot. I hate to give up on my marriage, but I don’t know if I can forgive all the things he has done.

]]> By: Connie http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-62664 Connie Thu, 05 May 2011 04:22:45 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-62664 So relieved to read these posts tonight. My husband lost his job because of his drinking behavior, and for a few weeks he was all "going sober, zero tolerance for alcohol." Now he has a temporary job and it didn't take three days for his old behavior to return. I rather enjoyed the month of financial fear and stress because he was such a decent, loving man. Tonight the drunk "lizard man" took over again... he called me names, berated me for about an hour, and told me if I loved him I would have gotten his job back for him. When I peacefully and respectfully said, "it's so late, sweetie, can we finish this conversation tomorrow?," he told me that it was no problem, he could easily find another woman who would be interested in listening to him. I've been working very hard in Alanon, and was just beginning to have some tender feelings again. Boy am I sorry for that. Sometimes the rage I feel is easier to bear than the hurt feelings. Tomorrow he won't know anything about this, but I will remember it forever. Thanks for letting me get this out and at least write it to someone out there who understands. So relieved to read these posts tonight. My husband lost his job because of his drinking behavior, and for a few weeks he was all “going sober, zero tolerance for alcohol.” Now he has a temporary job and it didn’t take three days for his old behavior to return. I rather enjoyed the month of financial fear and stress because he was such a decent, loving man. Tonight the drunk “lizard man” took over again… he called me names, berated me for about an hour, and told me if I loved him I would have gotten his job back for him. When I peacefully and respectfully said, “it’s so late, sweetie, can we finish this conversation tomorrow?,” he told me that it was no problem, he could easily find another woman who would be interested in listening to him. I’ve been working very hard in Alanon, and was just beginning to have some tender feelings again. Boy am I sorry for that. Sometimes the rage I feel is easier to bear than the hurt feelings. Tomorrow he won’t know anything about this, but I will remember it forever. Thanks for letting me get this out and at least write it to someone out there who understands.

]]> By: lynn http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-45286 lynn Thu, 03 Mar 2011 07:33:58 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-45286 Reading these comments make me feel like someone has just taken a few pages directly out of my life...Can anyone please address the shame and guilt that I as an enabler am feeling. I am drowning....the horrible lies to people I love and whom loved me..family..friends..co-workers...teachers...It feels worse than actually being the abuser, at least he has an excuse. Reading these comments make me feel like someone has just taken a few pages directly out of my life…Can anyone please address the shame and guilt that I as an enabler am feeling. I am drowning….the horrible lies to people I love and whom loved me..family..friends..co-workers…teachers…It feels worse than actually being the abuser, at least he has an excuse.

]]> By: Sean http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-43941 Sean Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:29:37 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-43941 Thank you for your kind words. It has been over a month since I have spoken to Jennifer and I came back home from the beach and had papers from a lawyer. It stated that I was to stop slandering her and not have any contact. I have spoken to my layer and he said it is all a joke. But he did warn me that she is nutts and watch out for her to contact me when she cools down. Does anyone have any wisdom. Sean Mooresville NC Thank you for your kind words.
It has been over a month since I have spoken to Jennifer and I came back home from the beach and had papers from a lawyer. It stated that I was to stop slandering her and not have any contact. I have spoken to my layer and he said it is all a joke. But he did warn me that she is nutts and watch out for her to contact me when she cools down. Does anyone have any wisdom.

Sean Mooresville NC

]]> By: Catherine http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-43637 Catherine Sun, 20 Feb 2011 13:44:32 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-43637 Sean, God Bless You. And Jennifer too. She sounds like she needs help-and you cannot put up with the drinking and all the behaviors associated with it. It's too much for almost anyone to handle. Take it from me, I've been married for almost 12 years to an alcoholic. He has been in recovery for a little over one year now. If he were still drinking, I would not be here. You have to take a stand-don't listen to a practicing alcoholic. They always abuse lie they have to-it's part of the disease. Good luck and again God Bless You-find a support person who doesn't have a drinking problem-it really puts things in perspective thar the alcoholic behaviors are not in any way normal. Sean, God Bless You. And Jennifer too. She sounds like she needs help-and you cannot put up with the drinking and all the behaviors associated with it. It’s too much for almost anyone to handle. Take it from me, I’ve been married for almost 12 years to an alcoholic. He has been in recovery for a little over one year now. If he were still drinking, I would not be here. You have to take a stand-don’t listen to a practicing alcoholic. They always abuse lie they have to-it’s part of the disease. Good luck and again God Bless You-find a support person who doesn’t have a drinking problem-it really puts things in perspective thar the alcoholic behaviors are not in any way normal.

]]> By: AAdidntwork http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-43546 AAdidntwork Sat, 19 Feb 2011 23:44:09 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-43546 I've tried everything to stop drinking. I finally ended up in ICU bleeding top and bottom. That was about a month ago and I don't drink anymore. That was my bottom and I bounced back up. It is all will power and that is it. I’ve tried everything to stop drinking. I finally ended up in ICU bleeding top and bottom. That was about a month ago and I don’t drink anymore. That was my bottom and I bounced back up. It is all will power and that is it.

]]> By: Sean http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-42878 Sean Wed, 16 Feb 2011 01:09:31 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-42878 My girl friend of 1 year (Jennifer) is the most loving person when sober. But when she drinks becomes so mean and nasty. Picks fights, cusses like a sailor which includes the F word every third word, I over looked everything at first. I met her sister who is very kind and talkative about 2 months ago. She started telling me about how much of a drinker and what kind of an anger problem she has. I told her how much I loved and would do anything for her sister(sis) and that we had spoken about marriage and children and her sis went from zero to sixty. Sis stated that she did not even need to take care of pets much less than a child. Sis stated that she would kill the child or leave me on a permenant vacation with the child. Her sis gave me large amounts of information and opend my eyes to look back at some other issues in past. Well in this same conversation We as me and Jennifer broke up and she blames me for everything.(My Anger due to being put down treated like I was an idiot, Why I have never been married at age 37, Why no one wants me, how I need to drink to relax which was one of my Christmas presents, etc.) She has said some very bad things about me and the counselor that we saw once together to here family onece I reconfirmed her drinking problem to here family. She stated the counselor was smoking dope while we sat in session. This was not true. Her sister also stated she has made some very bad comments about me which they do not beleive so she said. Sis questioned her and said you are very educated, make very good money, have your own house why do you stay with him (me) if it is so bad. Jennifer responded that she stayed because she was stupid. Yes I'm painting a bad picture but when sober she is such a giving, fun, happy perfect woman which is about 90 percent of the time. She has not spoken to me in almost a month and I have been told by my neighbors when I was out of town two weeks ago that someone was in my drive way with their head lights on. I have called all of my friends to see if they came over and no one admitted. So the I figured it was her. Now I'm coming up on a month with out contact and we talked every day and were very close. My heart broken and missing her, hoping she is ok. What is next? Will I hear from her again, I have a bunch of her stuff and she screamed at me when I saw her last to just burn everything. I have brand new clothes worth more than $750.00 (Christmas Dress $300.00 plus)bathing suites, shoes,shirts etc. Bread maker new to us dresser, hand made childhood christmas orniments that meant a lot to her and many other items. What do I do??????? I'm not cold hearted so I know you may tell me to run. But from my past I grew up in foster care and if I did not have people to reach out and help me I would not be here today. Help me be at peace........ Sean of Mooresville NC Thank you for listening and any kind comments My girl friend of 1 year (Jennifer) is the most loving person when sober. But when she drinks becomes so mean and nasty. Picks fights, cusses like a sailor which includes the F word every third word, I over looked everything at first. I met her sister who is very kind and talkative about 2 months ago. She started telling me about how much of a drinker and what kind of an anger problem she has. I told her how much I loved and would do anything for her sister(sis) and that we had spoken about marriage and children and her sis went from zero to sixty. Sis stated that she did not even need to take care of pets much less than a child. Sis stated that she would kill the child or leave me on a permenant vacation with the child. Her sis gave me large amounts of information and opend my eyes to look back at some other issues in past.

Well in this same conversation We as me and Jennifer broke up and she blames me for everything.(My Anger due to being put down treated like I was an idiot, Why I have never been married at age 37, Why no one wants me, how I need to drink to relax which was one of my Christmas presents, etc.) She has said some very bad things about me and the counselor that we saw once together to here family onece I reconfirmed her drinking problem to here family. She stated the counselor was smoking dope while we sat in session. This was not true. Her sister also stated she has made some very bad comments about me which they do not beleive so she said. Sis questioned her and said you are very educated, make very good money, have your own house why do you stay with him (me) if it is so bad. Jennifer responded that she stayed because she was stupid.

Yes I’m painting a bad picture but when sober she is such a giving, fun, happy perfect woman which is about 90 percent of the time.

She has not spoken to me in almost a month and I have been told by my neighbors when I was out of town two weeks ago that someone was in my drive way with their head lights on. I have called all of my friends to see if they came over and no one admitted.

So the I figured it was her. Now I’m coming up on a month with out contact and we talked every day and were very close. My heart broken and missing her, hoping she is ok. What is next? Will I hear from her again, I have a bunch of her stuff and she screamed at me when I saw her last to just burn everything. I have brand new clothes worth more than $750.00 (Christmas Dress $300.00 plus)bathing suites, shoes,shirts etc. Bread maker new to us dresser, hand made childhood christmas orniments that meant a lot to her and many other items.

What do I do???????
I’m not cold hearted so I know you may tell me to run. But from my past I grew up in foster care and if I did not have people to reach out and help me I would not be here today.

Help me be at peace……..

Sean of Mooresville NC

Thank you for listening and any kind comments

]]> By: Jake http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-38373 Jake Fri, 21 Jan 2011 03:13:11 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-38373 My x girlfriend is an alcoholic. She is a very successful attractive 34 year old lawyer. To most people she seems like the most amazing girl in the world (and at times she is) but they don't see what I have to see. She is so good at putting up a front it is unbelievable. We dated for 2 and a half years. The last year that we were together she was constantly on me about getting her an engagement ring. I explained to her that I wanted her to show some stability with her drinking before I would give her the ring. She would act very irresponsibly at least a few times a month and I just couldn't trust her enough to give her the ring. She broke up with me a about a month ago because she wanted the ring by the New Year. It breaks my heart because I stuck with her through so much and love her so much and she basically pushed me away because I would be hard on her about her drinking problem. I never told her she couldn't drink I just didn't want her to drink so much that she put herself in situations that either jeopardize our relationship or her safety. She now says that she is happier without me because she can now be herself. It is not a good feeling to have the person that you love more than anything choose Grey Goose over you. Since we have broken up I've again tried to tell her that she needs help and it just pisses her off and she accuses me of throwing stuff in her face. VERY FRUSTRATING! My x girlfriend is an alcoholic. She is a very successful attractive 34 year old lawyer. To most people she seems like the most amazing girl in the world (and at times she is) but they don’t see what I have to see. She is so good at putting up a front it is unbelievable. We dated for 2 and a half years. The last year that we were together she was constantly on me about getting her an engagement ring. I explained to her that I wanted her to show some stability with her drinking before I would give her the ring. She would act very irresponsibly at least a few times a month and I just couldn’t trust her enough to give her the ring. She broke up with me a about a month ago because she wanted the ring by the New Year. It breaks my heart because I stuck with her through so much and love her so much and she basically pushed me away because I would be hard on her about her drinking problem. I never told her she couldn’t drink I just didn’t want her to drink so much that she put herself in situations that either jeopardize our relationship or her safety. She now says that she is happier without me because she can now be herself. It is not a good feeling to have the person that you love more than anything choose Grey Goose over you. Since we have broken up I’ve again tried to tell her that she needs help and it just pisses her off and she accuses me of throwing stuff in her face. VERY FRUSTRATING!

]]> By: Heartbroken http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/index.php/alcoholic-behaviors/#comment-37226 Heartbroken Sat, 15 Jan 2011 04:09:20 +0000 http://www.drug-and-alcohol-rehab-info.com/addiction/?p=22#comment-37226 Wow, I stumbled upon this website and am so glad I did. I divorced my alcoholic husband 12 years ago when suddenly out of the blue he contacted me recently and I agreed to a reconciliation. At first he lied and said he was a changed man and because I loved him so much I wanted to believe him,just like the first time we met. But the warning signs were there, I should have known. I desperately wanted it to be diffent but within a few short months it all fell apart and I am devastated. What hurts the most is the lies, the broken promises and the incredible selfishness. He was arrested for drunk driving a month ago, I thought for sure that would be his bottom. I offered him an incredible life with me but in the end he went right back to drining within a week. I feel hurt and betrayed and I will never forgive him but at least I had the guts to end it sooner rather than later this time. An alcoholic has to want to get better and no matter how much I loved him, it didn't make a bit of difference. Wow, I stumbled upon this website and am so glad I did. I divorced my alcoholic husband 12 years ago when suddenly out of the blue he contacted me recently and I agreed to a reconciliation. At first he lied and said he was a changed man and because I loved him so much I wanted to believe him,just like the first time we met. But the warning signs were there, I should have known. I desperately wanted it to be diffent but within a few short months it all fell apart and I am devastated. What hurts the most is the lies, the broken promises and the incredible selfishness. He was arrested for drunk driving a month ago, I thought for sure that would be his bottom. I offered him an incredible life with me but in the end he went right back to drining within a week. I feel hurt and betrayed and I will never forgive him but at least I had the guts to end it sooner rather than later this time. An alcoholic has to want to get better and no matter how much I loved him, it didn’t make a bit of difference.

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