Alcoholic Personality: Traits and Characteristics
Is there a distinct alcoholic personality? Or are there personality traits that lead one to an addictive behavior? Personality is complicated. Some say we are born with one, others say we are a blank slate. Whether there is a personality at birth, there are still influences in our lives such as our genetics, environmental factors, family of origin and peer groups that contribute to who we become. There are also disease models that say an alcoholic personality is passed down through the family tree.
Are there specific tendencies that can be predicted ahead of time?
Whatever philosophical bend you have on the age old question of nature or nurutre, there are some characteristics that are similar for people who drink heavily and make alcoholism a way of life. Of course, it’s impossible to generalize as we are also individuals but some of these traits are shared by those with an alcohol issue:
Low tolerance and frustration - Often a chronic drinker has a very low level of frustration tolerance. Even a small remark or action can create inner turmoil.
Anxiety- Alcohol is used as a way to relieve anxiety and when the effects of alcohol wear off then a period of depression follow which again draws someone towards alcohol. Anticipation of something often turns into anxiety.
Poor self Image - An alcoholic often has a very low self-esteem. Worthlessness can be a strong feeling. They use alcohol as a defense mechanism. Those with a drinking problem often suffer from fear of failure, self-pity and failure. On the other hand, there are some narcissistic drinkers who have an inflated sense of self.
Feeling of Social Isolation - Alcoholics generally tend to separate themselves from group of gathering. They have a feeling that nobody loves them and tend to blame everything on others. For example if an alcoholic is not able to find his/her wallet then he/she tend to blame it on their spouse for misplaced item or they blame there employers if they are not able to do their job. Shame can develop about drinking and it is done privately in the home. Others may frequent bars but do it secretively so family members don’t know.
If your parent was abusive or you were in a home with instability, there can be a lot of pain and alcohol or drugs may appear to ease it. Also, if you’ve had a parent with an alcohol addiction or drug problem you may find yourself repeating their pattern despite having resentment towards them when you were a child. We are comfortable with what is familiar but this doesn’t mean it can’t change. You can be the one to break the family pattern.
There are numerous reasons behind a person why someone turns to drinking. Some people feel that alcohol helps them relax more and it creates a false euphoria enabling to be uninhibited at parties or other gatherings. Others have observed it as a young child by parents or grandparents and see it as natural.
Family support, self-motivation and stopping denial of the problem are important for recovery. Recovery starts with awareness and the willingness to change. There are various self-help groups where one can attend and meet others with similar issue plus be assigned a sponsor. There are also private rehabs and hospital detox programs. Timely help and dedication is what that is needed to cure alcoholism.
My dad had a poor image and it was because his dad drank and then put him down as a bad athlete and not as smart as his brother. Then my dad started drinking and same behavior towards my brother. When will this alcoholic personality ever stop? I think my brother is now getting counseling to avoid this .
I just wanted to remind everyone that partying is a big part of Memorial Day weekend so lay off the booze drinking addiction and drugs but try to have a good time with picnics, music and hanging out. It is really hot too so swimming might work for a buzz.
I know tonight my uncle who drinks will join our picnic and it will be all awkward. Why won’t he get help or just stay home instead of making us all uncomfortable?
I definitely think my father-in-law is an alcoholic with a depressed personality because at our memorial day bbq he drank way too much beer and it was not appropriate.
People say that they are behaving a certain way because their dad or mom was an alcoholic. But I know a lot of professional lawyers and even doctors who did not abuse alcohol just because a parent did. They are very driven people and it was their past that made them that way.
My dads girlfriend is an alcoholic.. she always thinks everything she does is not good enough.or she looks ugly..always soo worried about her self image.. always blaming my dad for things. always laying on the couch..she never has enough energy to do ANYTHING and always complains about EVERYTHING. always saying she feels sick. WONDER WHY!
My boyfriend of eight yrs. is an alchoholic. My adult son and I have had to put up with his temper tantrums, blame for lost items, and put downs for so long. This article is correct! His problem is getting progressively worse. He is unbearable to live with and abusive. In the early stages of our relationship he never used to be this bad. I am longing to move on fear of failure is stoppping me. I am trying to move on. Its so sad. The alchoholic is not aware of what he does to the people around him. They are very very self centered.
I feel alcoholism is a life sentence for me My dad was an alcoholic, I married an alcoholic and have fond out a year ago my son is an alcoholic and rug abuser. The lonliness and pain can be unbearable. I have no close normal relatives. I have always had to rely on the knidnesses of others and dysfunctional relationships. I m trying to get over the deep sense of despair over my sons addiction. I have done this with my family and his father. Feellike I have to grieve once agin with people who are alive. It is so hard because they are here and getting alond with them is difficult. so emotionally draining
My personality s distorted. I am an enabler. I have mastered othering people. My son came home I gave him money, a roof over his head, cooked,cleaned, did his laundry, and spent night after night talking and consoling him. I was so drained and depressed. He left home and has been drug free for a year. I continue to give him lots of money..about $600 a month. I just found out he works from home 4 hours a day, goes to an expensive gym each afternoon and meetings every night. recently told me he gave hi friend-alcoholic $50 and spent two days of lost sleep and helping him get help. I was furious..my son is taking my money how does he have any to give away..how can he spend endless hours with an alcoholc friend when he needs to work and stop taking my money. It is sad because he is confused and a very sensitive and kind persn but really. Well I told him that I cannot give him anymore money unless he seeks professional help. He has been angry at me since and refuses my e-mails and has the nevre to ask me for money again. So abusive. its so hard for me to reject him but I feel I cant stand this anymore. I am exhausted.
My ex husband has an alcohol problem. I love him so much, I kept accepting his apologies after every outrage. He made me feel like it was my fault, that I had provoked him. All our friends were shocked, they knew he loved to drink but they didn’t know what happened after the party was over and I was alone at home with him. I was terrified most of our marriage. He would say he’s going to quit and it was good we would ride bikes, go to Barnes and read, golf, everything was great w/o alcohol. That lasted two weeks at a time maybe three. I had to end it. I couldn’t take the rollercoaster abuse and ” I’m sorry” ride anymore. It nearly destroyed me. He has so much potential and so much going for him or he did at least. It’s sad and I miss the man I once knew. I wish I could have the man that was meant for me, the one I know is my soulmate, but his choice to drink has created a monster.
You did the right thing. I am a codependant after growing up with an alcoholic father and then marrying an alcoholic. I got out after 18 years of marriage and struggled for 5 years alone only to fall in love with a you guessed it –alcoholic. I am getting ready to join a support group because I will get out of this cycle…that’s a promise I am making to myself!
Started dating a man who is almost 69 yo. He hid alcohol from me at first and now drinks round the clock. He starts with a can of beer at any hour, skips bfast, fixes a glass of wine, adds alcohol to his coffee and this goes on all day into the night. He will drink a beer or two before we go out to dinner and then have at least 2 tall glasses of beer - come home and keep drinking. He sleeps in between. He started telling me I have no common sense - and asked “What the F is wrong with you” at any given time. I have been loving - in fact, the more I was, the worse he would be. Don’t know why that is. This weekend I got my stuff together and left after another no common sense lecture. I can’t believe this happened to me. I was raised too well to be abused for no reason. I will seek help.