Fear of Stopping Addiction: Quitting is Worth It
There is a fear of a void about stopping drinking or doing drugs for many people. Inside there is a sense that the initial situation that was there that gave rise to the addiction is going to be very hard to deal with again. The alcohol and drugs numbed the pain. Now what?
For one thing, once you’ve made a conscious decision to quit using drugs or drinking, you are in a stronger place than before. You aren’t a leaf flying in the wind. Try to remember times in your life where had felt peaceful and content. It doesn’t mean that things were even going your way. Inner peace is a state of mind that doesn’t depend on certain conditions to occur or be met. It is a deep sense of wholeness, irrespective of what’s happening with money, relationships or other areas of life.
Think about the quality of life you want to have. Is hiding by drinking, drugs or food effective at doing this? It really isn’t because more is always needed. With pot, you need more weed to get high. Or worse, you need to move on to other stronger drugs. For drinking, it’s a similar pattern. You need more beers or hard liquor or more intensity. This is a dog chasing it’s tail.
It is a good thing that you want intense experience. We shouldn’t settle for what’s mediocore. But the solution is to live intensely rather than hide from living. The first thing that helps is to try to expand to friends that don’t drink or do drugs. This can seem difficult which is why you need to keep coming back to your resolve. A support group is good as it can help you build relationships with people that want to change. Sometimes after a group everyone will go out to eat or get a snack together as well. You can form deeper relationships with people now because of wanting personal growth.
Sometimes when we get overwhelmed, we tend to look at the difficult parts of family life. Instead of that, give yourself a day to just engage with your kids in something fun. It could be a sports game you go to together or seeing a movie and if they are young kids, creating some home videos. You can use a cell phone to make short videos often. The fear is there, but when you look deep inside, you’ll see the fear of staying in the same rut of drinking alcohol or doing drugs is even scarier.
My brother said he is afraid to stop using crack because he’ll be thinking a lot about losing his kids to his ex-wife and the little that he gets to see them now. He is in so much pain. I know it’s a crutch but without some drug he really can’t deal with how much it hurts him. I think maybe he should get a prescription like zanax or maybe ativan to help but since he has an addictive history I am not sure they will do that.