Alcohol Addiction-Resisting The Urge to Drink
I talked to a client today who was in tears because her husband every night returns from work and starts drinking. He feels that his life is just a few hours at night before going back to the job. Many people feel that way about work and the evening can be a time to forget through alcohol or drug abuse.
What can you do when you feel yourself sinking into that feeling , not wanting to get up again and go to the job that isn’t fulfilling and having very little energy a night?
For many people, they just don’t want to go to AA or a support group. That becomes another thing on the “have to do” list. Don’t rule this out, it may be much more fulfilling than you envision. Go at least once just to test it for yourself. Some people really love the comraderie, others love the ambience of the the meetings (some in florida meet on the beach or in a beautiful church with stained glass), still others find that have a structure is very liberating because that void or emptiness at night and weekends where drinking and drugs would be used can be filled by something meaningful towards self-growth.
Remember that we don’t know how long our lives are. Do you want to get rid of the ghosts from the past and own your life again? How will you feel on your death bed looking back on your life? Will you feel you missed your chance or that you squandered your life? Sober reflections can lead to very good choices.
I am my end rope, I am engaged 19 years, I am 43 years old, and verbally and emotionally abused and drained by my fiancee the unreasonable alcoholic. He comes from awhole backround of drinkers and uneducated people. He drinks excessively daily. He is a fuctional alcoholic, but his bosses are also his buddies and they use him. I am spoken to like a piece of garbage. I always heard if you lose weight for every ten pounds I’ll give up a day of drining. Then it was if you stop smoking I will quit drinking. So, I lost 100 lbs and quit smoking, and he’s more abusive and drunk then ever. Totally, unpredictable, my family is broken apart, he can’t cope with no stress, and I am the blame for everything. He records arguments, after I am furious and cursing because of things he’s done ,and he plays this for his friends to make them think it’s me starting. He runs out the door constantly, and blames me for why he didn’t come home. I constantly hear-leave me if you don’t like what I do- I don’t have to explain myself, I am a grown man I don’t need a lecture from you b—h. We have no communication, I am losing my house in Pa. because he decided after buying a new truck, he couldn’t commute on the weekends. It gets worse by the day. EVERYTHING is always my fault, I’m a bitch, a nag, ungrateful etc. He never takes me to a restaurant that doesn’t serve alcohol. We go nowhere. If he wants to go out, he goes alone and only where he’s drinking and they tell him how great he is, so that he’ll fix there car for a six pack or do some kind of free help, that’s why he’s so loved. My family can’t believe I am still with him after I worked my whole life, lost it all, and I still try to help, I even went to therapy and almost had a breakdown with all this. Oh, now because of that everything is how I am a crazy nut, I lost it. What do I do now, I am not working , because I am trying to find a job after relocating because of him,I worked our whole relationship, but now I am hearing this crap. what really gets me is some people tell me move on, I wouldn’t take that, are the same people hanging with him and making him think his the greatest. And he believes what someone else says, even when I try to explain it, no use. He constantly tries to hurt my feelings and when he wants to be intimate-that is another issue. I am hearing now how he can’t take me anymore, once in a blue moon he’ll say I will quit drinking but don’t ride my ass or watch me, I do it my way. He’ll go 1-2 days and look out- guess what I stressed him out or he needed just a few beers on the weekend. He sneaking Brandy bottles in the garage and drinking beers too at the same time. I am never going to win and it’s affecting our lives badly. He hardly eats and he’s blown up in his stomach and face. But, his blood work from 4 years ago was good so, he thinks he’s good to go. I keep warning him, I am in the medical field as a med. asst. and he won’t listen.
Why are you staying with him?
I’m asking the same question to myself as well.